My neighbour and friend, Rose, whom I called Aunt Rose used to tell me a particular story about a night that possibly shuddered the very thought of ever trusting a man again. She used to recall it as though it was yesterday: it was one of those typical stormy nights in Bangalore, Rose, clad in a sari, was rushing home from work, later than usual. Whilst she was walking on the wet, slippery streets, an attacker came from behind her and pushed her to the ground and attempted to undress her, reaching towards her undergarments. Rose used all her energy, praying to the higher power she strongly believed in and started to scream. Her scream was so terrifying that her attacker left her in the rain and ran away.
Herself, her parents and siblings moved here from Burma in search of better lives, to which I assume the succeed in doing so. Rose is no more, and died single. In fact she never married, and lived a very happy, carefree life, and retired as a teacher. Her life always raised a big question within me: was she really happy living her entire 70-odd years of existence without the company of a man (or woman)? She was quite the stunner back in the day by the way – so it left me wondering whether it was the above traumatic experience, or something else?
The Big Question
Coming back to my point ‘Can you be single and be happy at the same time?’ F**k yes! I feel in today’s age, magazines, newspapers, movies, literature, social media, and more have bombarded our heads with the wrong information – “YOU ARE INCOMPLETE”. Maybe Aunt Rose found the answer to living the life – being single! Well, I don’t know that, but what do I know is you can be super happy being single – we have much more complex human relationships to focus on, than the romantic kind of relationships. Relationships with friends, parents, siblings, and the most important relationship being the one with YOURSELF.
Why do we still put up with a f**k boy or girl? Why do we like to hurt ourselves? On the contrary – we love taking care of ourselves – we buy nice clothes, we gym, eat right, buy expensive cosmetics. But is that really self-love? Well, not entirely as each of us finds happiness and contentment via different sources; each to their own. But what I do know is that self-love is a journey in life, when you know that you’re happy just by yourself and that your confidence, identity doesn’t depend on a person or a thing.
Aunt Rose’s story and my own bad relationships left me with an emotional up roaring; I cannot depend on another person for love because I have been let down in the past; I have also let myself down many times, but I have realised that I can control my own actions and not rely on someone else’s. Thus, I decided to love myself and take effective actions to grow as a person nourish my relationship with self and peers.
I feel that the media has brainwashed us into thinking we need another person to feel complete, and that person has to be romantically and sexually related. However, I have decided to take a deviation from this current #Norm and explore the idea of ‘Being Single’.
So WTF is ‘Being Single’?
Being Single for me is a stage where my confidence lies within myself; I seek love from myself more, rather than depending on someone else. I recently went on a trip with a group of four, surprisingly they were couples and I was the only single person there. Well, all I can say is that I had much more fun than they did! I went on mini adventures, (it was a hill station so you can imagine) and take my book along with me. I walked up to the top of the hill to just spend time with myself (and the view for company of course) while these couples locked themselves up in their respective rooms as the fountain of love and hate overflowed at the same. One moment they would be oh so in love and next moment I saw what could only be described as the WWIII. Anyway, my point is that if you feel it’s the society and external forces pushing you to have a partner its not worth it. First, let’s discover ourselves by ourselves.
Let’s Kickstart the #SingleAngle conversation. Over the next few weeks, let’s look into exploring this together?
Mail us your views @ firstname.lastname@example.org
Let’s wrap up our 1st convo with a with a song I love: